That State Of Mind

by Ben Martin

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes with digipack with foldout artwork

    Includes unlimited streaming of That State Of Mind via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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about

This is my debut album released in 2004, a collection of themes and song that had to wait some time to be allowed to come out. Even though I was just starting out as a singer, I still like the songs and performances. And: this is the only album I've ever played drums on!

credits

released April 19, 2004

All songs written, produced and performed by Ben Martin, except:
That State Of Mind: Drums - Erich Kirchner, Bass - Chris Gusel
Praying To A Sun: Bass - Manfred Scheer, Lyrics and part of the music - Michael Lahner
Bin: Guitar - Rene Mühlberger
Longing To Move Away: Drums - Lorenz Sadychow

Recorded by Ben Martin at home
Mixed by Lelo Brossmann
Mastered by Martin Scheer
Cover design and artwork by Ben Martin
Photography and artwork inspiration by Christoph Haiderer

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all rights reserved

about

Ben Martin Sankt Pölten, Austria

I'm here to write, perform and spread music that has its roots in pop with influences from soul, jazz and folk rock. Ever since I discovered the guitar as a means to express my feelings in 1985, I'm constantly refining and clearing the channel through which I receive, digest and send out music. I recorded "The Endless Stream Of Everything" to share my love and songs with you. ... more

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Track Name: All Alone
Walking home
I am tired again
All alone
Couldn't talk though i can
And my bones
They hurt from standing so stiff
Runnin' off
My own demons again
Though i love
Couldn't talk though i can
That's the stuff
My whole life was made of before I met you

I was fighting myself to come alive
But I was far too good at thinking away and ending up alone

Talking on
The phone all night
Cause I longed
For some comfort alright
And I moaned
So everyone was turning away

And my whole
Energy was in music
My sole
Interest was to make it
My goal
Didn't come to life because of me

I'm glad now that I have come alive
Now that I can relax and take you for walks
And lean on you when I am

All alone
Track Name: Television
Time is easy
Lying round the house again
And I'm watching TV
Carter is on duty again

And time goes by
But nothing really matters but
The latest season
Is mary on the show again

All day I could spend my time watching television
Laughing at their crappy jokes and the bad production

Life ain't easy
Lying on the couch again
And talking TV
Is Trapper John M.D. or is he

Just not real
Cannot tell the difference
But I don't care
As long as I can watch the simpsons

All day I could spend my time watching television
Laughing at their crappy jokes and the bad production

Today my doorbell rang
I couldn't bother to get up
They crashed the door and sang
You won a TV right on H.O.T.
Track Name: That State Of Mind
And I say
What I am
And I see
What you think
And I know
You are right
That we are one

And I feel
More than ever
And I hear
That you like that
And I go
Even further
And you relax

And we walk until we reach that state of mind

And one day
We believe
We'll be more
Than we are now
That's because
We do all that
We love so much

Cause we love
To make love
Cause we love
To go down
Cause we love
To give each other
That speciality

And we walk until we reach that state of mind
And we fall into each other's arms
Track Name: Bin
I been to my working place today
Wondering how it would have been
If I had taken the chance then
Would I be happier than I am now

The beauty of her
Had everything I longed for
My work was to do
If I wanted to be somebody now

Finally I am working all day
Never see what my life could have been
I'm blind of the colors of the rainbow
Never forget what was before this life

The beauty of her
Had everything I longed for
My work was to do
If I wanted to be somebody now

As I'm walking down to the stream
I am coming by a fair
I'm aimed at the end
Is this the carussell I've always loved

What would I have missed
Of life with its beauty and all
She's standing right besides me
I take her hand we turn around
Track Name: Grow
Far away you were gone
Out of my mind
I can't stay
I have to find

One last time
I feel you close
I'm inside you
Can feel your heat

I have to go
I have to grow

I miss your skin
The dye of your hair
The way you smell
Between your thighs

And I had to go
But I had to grow
I had to go
And I had to grow
Track Name: Praying To A Sun
A kiss in the morning from my little girl
she smells really fine to wake up with no distance
show me the grace in all her shiny way
a sunday morning

no lie in her sparkle when we crashed her eyes
and love tastes so beautiful, honey bunny trash
it's all oh so quiet, hope you know what I mean
a sunday morning

I'm praying to a sun

Oh god I don't know how I can
thank you for the presence of this life
dirty way, thoughts hitting wounds
a curious destinctive knife

Oh god I don't know how I can
thank you for giving me this life
lovely days, hearts swallow holes
so let me live inside the hive

Bye to you daughter, you're like sugar in water
for amusements in hate
Discover the streams, maybe it's not too late
A tender warning

Illusions grow deeply, sometimes killing love
and germs of hate, they spit out a name
will they save your soul and show you the way
a tender warning

She's praying with a gun
The day is she gone
We're dying like the sun
Track Name: There's Always You
Turn around to me and
Take your arms an wrap them
Tight around me until
We can't take no more

All the years before I
Was tightened up and couldn't
Let you enter my world
And rescue all my soul

When you stand behind me
I know I can trust
When I fall I know that
There's always you to pull me out

We don't always agree and
Sometimes fight and cry but
At the end of the day we know
Everything is sorted out

Since I know you I can
Finally fall asleep again so
Later when we're grown up
We'll take a ride with paula and the rest

When you stand behind me
I know I can trust
When I fall I know that
There's always you to pull me out

There's always you to pull me out
Track Name: I Feel Sorry
I feel sorry
I feel sorry for you
For living your dream
A dream that won’t survive

I feel sorry
I feel sorry for all
Those people who live
Who live their dreams and fail

What can I do for you
To take away your sorrow

I feel sorry
I feel sorry for you
For living your dream
A dream that won’t survive

I feel sorry
I feel sorry for your faith
It got a crack
You have to believe in yourself soon
Track Name: Longing To Move Away
Everytime I go out it is coming
to my mind that in fact I'm longing
to move away

I don't feel at home like I do
when I'm over there
so I go far away

I just can't take no more
I want to piss from above
Leave me all or next time
I move away

When I'm old I'll mabye come back
To assure what this place did lack
when I moved away

And I'll go right back to the airport
Cannot wait until I get out
far away

They won't see me anymore
And I want piss from above
Leave me all alone you old suckers
I'm longing to move away
Track Name: Bitter Wounds
I reached into the sun
I reached for everyone
Anyone who was passing me by

You deprived me of feel
Said this ain’t real
At least not for you

Life it hit you hard
Hard in the side
Of you that could feel

You tried to be so mean
But you couldn’t stay clean
Of hurting my soul

It didn’t work to put me off by saying
Ugly things to me instead you left some bitter wounds
You gave me hard times finding out
Oh why you stabbed my heart

When everything was done
The grieve was gone
I was on my own

Tears I cried a lot
but only ‘til I
Met someone who cared for me

Today I’m fine
I wish you well
I hope you’re kind
To anyone who’s saying
Track Name: Silver Spoon
Jimmy was 15 when he started drinking
He dyed his hair red so everyone could see
That he was cool and all so different
And he had the chicks and his life was free

When Jimmy was 20 he started a firm
He sold trucks to people he knew
He was married, had a newborn girl
His drinking got out of hand his life was through

He was out in the street, was living there
At first he stayed clean but he started soon
Fixing a hole into his young arms
Just to forget everything just holding his silver spoon

Now Jimmy felt bad, he was quite far out
His friends were dying so he got scared
He got himself a room got a lot to read
Went on cold turkey got someone who cared

Noone thought he'd made it but he was tough
He spit and shit himself and he was sick too
After a couple of weeks, record time
He came out of there said to god thank you

Today he's out there in the streets
Still on booze but at least stays clean
His life is over, his body is worn out
But he makes the best of this life so mean
Track Name: Hi Me
I’m walking down to your place
Just in case you’re there
My hands and knees are shaking
I hope you are there
I check my breath just in case
Your mum says you are there
I wear my sexiest shirt
I’m begging please be there

I ring the bell at your house
I’m really shaking now
Time is running too slow
I’m nearly fainting now
I hear the key in the lock
Will it be you my love
I see the stars and I fall
That was just all enough

I’m dreaming of your hairdo
The little curlies you keep trimmed so
Nice and shaped just like a heart and
The color red that I like best

When I come back to life
I open my eyes wide
You stand in front of my face
I cannot yet decide
Are you angry or glad
To see me lying there
That I have come to visit
Hoping you are there

You say hi and you’re helping
So I’m standing up
You stand in front of my face
My heart is jumping up
I hear the door go again
A guy is standing there
You ask if we have met
Is this your boyfriend there?

Just now she realizes
What I was here for and why I
Collapsed so she says kindly
She’d be sorry but it’s too late


I run as fast as I can
I scream out loud what I feel
I kick whatever I see
Until blood runs off my feet

I hate you
I am so disappointed
Hi me I’m back now back again
Hi me I’m not like she is
Hi me I’m back now back again
Hi me you’ve lost forever

Hi me I’m back now back again
Hi me I’m not like she is
Hi me I’m back now back again
Hi me hi me

I was just walking down
Just in case you're there
My hands were shaking
Hoping you are there
I check my breath just in case
Your mum says you are there
I wear my sexiest shirt
But you just didn’t care
Track Name: Warm Spring Afternoon
On a warm spring afternoon
There are warm sweet people around you
Thinking warm spring thoughts and wearing
Less and less than in winter

On a cold winter afternoon
I was fine and easy
Didn't see what was before me
That I had to decide

What am I gonna do
When real life sets in

On a hot summer afternoon
I will be on holiday
For two months but for the last time
But what is coming next

On a grey fall afternoon
I won't be able to think of anything
Work will keep my mind all focused
And my fear will be gone

But what is coming
After now
All this questioning
is keeping me up

if I didn't take a break
I would go completely nuts
and I would hide inside my lonely house

all this fear and angst are driving
me into a place I didn't
want to go so I am turning round

go my way - make my way - go the way I make