That State Of Mind

by Ben Martin

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1.
All Alone 04:04
Walking home I am tired again All alone Couldn't talk though i can And my bones They hurt from standing so stiff Runnin' off My own demons again Though i love Couldn't talk though i can That's the stuff My whole life was made of before I met you I was fighting myself to come alive But I was far too good at thinking away and ending up alone Talking on The phone all night Cause I longed For some comfort alright And I moaned So everyone was turning away And my whole Energy was in music My sole Interest was to make it My goal Didn't come to life because of me I'm glad now that I have come alive Now that I can relax and take you for walks And lean on you when I am All alone
2.
Television 03:38
Time is easy Lying round the house again And I'm watching TV Carter is on duty again And time goes by But nothing really matters but The latest season Is mary on the show again All day I could spend my time watching television Laughing at their crappy jokes and the bad production Life ain't easy Lying on the couch again And talking TV Is Trapper John M.D. or is he Just not real Cannot tell the difference But I don't care As long as I can watch the simpsons All day I could spend my time watching television Laughing at their crappy jokes and the bad production Today my doorbell rang I couldn't bother to get up They crashed the door and sang You won a TV right on H.O.T.
3.
And I say What I am And I see What you think And I know You are right That we are one And I feel More than ever And I hear That you like that And I go Even further And you relax And we walk until we reach that state of mind And one day We believe We'll be more Than we are now That's because We do all that We love so much Cause we love To make love Cause we love To go down Cause we love To give each other That speciality And we walk until we reach that state of mind And we fall into each other's arms
4.
Bin 02:36
I been to my working place today Wondering how it would have been If I had taken the chance then Would I be happier than I am now The beauty of her Had everything I longed for My work was to do If I wanted to be somebody now Finally I am working all day Never see what my life could have been I'm blind of the colors of the rainbow Never forget what was before this life The beauty of her Had everything I longed for My work was to do If I wanted to be somebody now As I'm walking down to the stream I am coming by a fair I'm aimed at the end Is this the carussell I've always loved What would I have missed Of life with its beauty and all She's standing right besides me I take her hand we turn around
5.
Grow 05:36
Far away you were gone Out of my mind I can't stay I have to find One last time I feel you close I'm inside you Can feel your heat I have to go I have to grow I miss your skin The dye of your hair The way you smell Between your thighs And I had to go But I had to grow I had to go And I had to grow
6.
7.
A kiss in the morning from my little girl she smells really fine to wake up with no distance show me the grace in all her shiny way a sunday morning no lie in her sparkle when we crashed her eyes and love tastes so beautiful, honey bunny trash it's all oh so quiet, hope you know what I mean a sunday morning I'm praying to a sun Oh god I don't know how I can thank you for the presence of this life dirty way, thoughts hitting wounds a curious destinctive knife Oh god I don't know how I can thank you for giving me this life lovely days, hearts swallow holes so let me live inside the hive Bye to you daughter, you're like sugar in water for amusements in hate Discover the streams, maybe it's not too late A tender warning Illusions grow deeply, sometimes killing love and germs of hate, they spit out a name will they save your soul and show you the way a tender warning She's praying with a gun The day is she gone We're dying like the sun
8.
Turn around to me and Take your arms an wrap them Tight around me until We can't take no more All the years before I Was tightened up and couldn't Let you enter my world And rescue all my soul When you stand behind me I know I can trust When I fall I know that There's always you to pull me out We don't always agree and Sometimes fight and cry but At the end of the day we know Everything is sorted out Since I know you I can Finally fall asleep again so Later when we're grown up We'll take a ride with paula and the rest When you stand behind me I know I can trust When I fall I know that There's always you to pull me out There's always you to pull me out
9.
I Feel Sorry 04:12
I feel sorry I feel sorry for you For living your dream A dream that won’t survive I feel sorry I feel sorry for all Those people who live Who live their dreams and fail What can I do for you To take away your sorrow I feel sorry I feel sorry for you For living your dream A dream that won’t survive I feel sorry I feel sorry for your faith It got a crack You have to believe in yourself soon
10.
Everytime I go out it is coming to my mind that in fact I'm longing to move away I don't feel at home like I do when I'm over there so I go far away I just can't take no more I want to piss from above Leave me all or next time I move away When I'm old I'll mabye come back To assure what this place did lack when I moved away And I'll go right back to the airport Cannot wait until I get out far away They won't see me anymore And I want piss from above Leave me all alone you old suckers I'm longing to move away
11.
I reached into the sun I reached for everyone Anyone who was passing me by You deprived me of feel Said this ain’t real At least not for you Life it hit you hard Hard in the side Of you that could feel You tried to be so mean But you couldn’t stay clean Of hurting my soul It didn’t work to put me off by saying Ugly things to me instead you left some bitter wounds You gave me hard times finding out Oh why you stabbed my heart When everything was done The grieve was gone I was on my own Tears I cried a lot but only ‘til I Met someone who cared for me Today I’m fine I wish you well I hope you’re kind To anyone who’s saying
12.
Silver Spoon 03:47
Jimmy was 15 when he started drinking He dyed his hair red so everyone could see That he was cool and all so different And he had the chicks and his life was free When Jimmy was 20 he started a firm He sold trucks to people he knew He was married, had a newborn girl His drinking got out of hand his life was through He was out in the street, was living there At first he stayed clean but he started soon Fixing a hole into his young arms Just to forget everything just holding his silver spoon Now Jimmy felt bad, he was quite far out His friends were dying so he got scared He got himself a room got a lot to read Went on cold turkey got someone who cared Noone thought he'd made it but he was tough He spit and shit himself and he was sick too After a couple of weeks, record time He came out of there said to god thank you Today he's out there in the streets Still on booze but at least stays clean His life is over, his body is worn out But he makes the best of this life so mean
13.
Hi Me 05:23
I’m walking down to your place Just in case you’re there My hands and knees are shaking I hope you are there I check my breath just in case Your mum says you are there I wear my sexiest shirt I’m begging please be there I ring the bell at your house I’m really shaking now Time is running too slow I’m nearly fainting now I hear the key in the lock Will it be you my love I see the stars and I fall That was just all enough I’m dreaming of your hairdo The little curlies you keep trimmed so Nice and shaped just like a heart and The color red that I like best When I come back to life I open my eyes wide You stand in front of my face I cannot yet decide Are you angry or glad To see me lying there That I have come to visit Hoping you are there You say hi and you’re helping So I’m standing up You stand in front of my face My heart is jumping up I hear the door go again A guy is standing there You ask if we have met Is this your boyfriend there? Just now she realizes What I was here for and why I Collapsed so she says kindly She’d be sorry but it’s too late I run as fast as I can I scream out loud what I feel I kick whatever I see Until blood runs off my feet I hate you I am so disappointed Hi me I’m back now back again Hi me I’m not like she is Hi me I’m back now back again Hi me you’ve lost forever Hi me I’m back now back again Hi me I’m not like she is Hi me I’m back now back again Hi me hi me I was just walking down Just in case you're there My hands were shaking Hoping you are there I check my breath just in case Your mum says you are there I wear my sexiest shirt But you just didn’t care
14.
On a warm spring afternoon There are warm sweet people around you Thinking warm spring thoughts and wearing Less and less than in winter On a cold winter afternoon I was fine and easy Didn't see what was before me That I had to decide What am I gonna do When real life sets in On a hot summer afternoon I will be on holiday For two months but for the last time But what is coming next On a grey fall afternoon I won't be able to think of anything Work will keep my mind all focused And my fear will be gone But what is coming After now All this questioning is keeping me up if I didn't take a break I would go completely nuts and I would hide inside my lonely house all this fear and angst are driving me into a place I didn't want to go so I am turning round go my way - make my way - go the way I make

about

This is my debut album released in 2004, a collection of themes and song that had to wait some time to be allowed to come out. Even though I was just starting out as a singer, I still like the songs and performances. And: this is the only album I've ever played drums on!

credits

released April 19, 2004

All songs written, produced and performed by Ben Martin, except:
That State Of Mind: Drums - Erich Kirchner, Bass - Chris Gusel
Praying To A Sun: Bass - Manfred Scheer, Lyrics and part of the music - Michael Lahner
Bin: Guitar - Rene Mühlberger
Longing To Move Away: Drums - Lorenz Sadychow

Recorded by Ben Martin at home
Mixed by Lelo Brossmann
Mastered by Martin Scheer
Cover design and artwork by Ben Martin
Photography and artwork inspiration by Christoph Haiderer

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Ben Martin Sankt Pölten, Austria

I'm here to write, perform and spread music that has its roots in pop with influences from soul, jazz and folk rock. Ever since I discovered the guitar as a means to express my feelings in 1985, I'm constantly refining and clearing the channel through which I receive, digest and send out music. I recorded "The Endless Stream Of Everything" to share my love and songs with you. ... more

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